How do I argue against homophobes?

Question

Sorry for the long read but please read it. I'm trying to explain to someone that there is nothing wrong with gay marriage and homosexuality but no matter what arguements I use, he still convinces himself that he's right. His arguements are mostly religious and that "gay's shouldn't have the right to be married because you can't have children so therefore there is no reason to be married". I tried telling him that anyone should marry who they want to, marriage a basic human right that should be given to everybody, and that everybody should be treated equally. He says that it's wrong and unnatural to be gay and that it is a choice. I tell him that you don't choose your sexual orientation and there is nothing wrong with being gay because it doesn't negatively affect you, they aren't trying to impose homosexuality onto others because gays know that you can't change someone's sexual orientation, and it you just can't control being gay because you are born that way. Sorry for the long read if you did read it, but please tell me how to argue. I don't want to let this go; because he's really arrogant and I actually want to win this argument.

Answer 1

There are cases where gay is a choice, but likely not a conscious choice. For the majority of people who identify themselves as 'gay' they were born this way. There have not been a lot of medical studies on this issue, mostly because people who are gay don't want to participate in anything that might lead to prenatal (or postnatal) culling of gays due to a gene or mutation identification. Very valid points!



I will say, though there is one study you should read and show your friend:



http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1815538,00.html



It indicates that the brains of gay men more closely resemble that of a female than a straight male. Is that genetic or developmental? Either way, it's not a choice. That much is very clear.



Your friend sounds religious, so here is what the Catholic church says about these issues (although your friend may well be anti-Catholic, in which case, this won't help you) Every person is made by God and loved by God. Gays are made by God and therefore are loved by God. Having gay sex is wrong, not being gay. However, every person is called to celibacy except in marriage. So, in fact, any sex that is outside of marriage is wrong, even heterosexual sex, because we are called to be better than our base needs.



Essentially, from a religious perspective, your friend has no right to condemn gays, as they are God's children as much as he is. They should be welcomed into the congregation just like any other person. However, if the people in question are sexually active, a congregation should look upon it as a sin, in the same way they would for a hetero couple having premarital sex (possibly even living together). It is the same.



As for marriage, most churches believe God called for a man and a woman to leave their parents and form a new family with the intent of having children. This is not possible for gays unless they are unfaithful to each other, which is not giving marriage the sanctity it deserves. That said, if gays wish to be married and are not following a faith that denies marriage to gays (or are not religious at all), then ask your friend to explain how allowing a legal union between any two people is detrimental to society.



Good luck.

Answer 2

Find instances of homosexuality in nature. There's plenty of them. If it happens in nature to ducks and whatnot, it's not exactly unnatural it is? Are arguing with homophobes? Because I'm not really sure you'll win no matter what you say. I forget what it's called but it's like "true believer syndrome" or something where you believe in something so much that even if evidence points to the contrary, you'll dismiss it. So say I believed that being gay was actually unnatural and then something comes to my attention that says that it isn't, that all sorts of animals in the wild have displayed homosexual tendencies and that they just really are born that way and nothing is wrong. Because I believe so strongly that homosexuality is unnatural I'll convince myself that this study was wrong, that people have no idea what's going on, and it's just a huge farce for the furthering of the dreaded "homosexual agenda". If they are open to being "won over" however, you could definitely pull it off. The best thing for debates is to start off with something that both sides can agree on, then slowly work towards the ultimate goal. If you just pop off with something disagreeable, it creates a sort of animosity and no one will want to agree on anything. If you told me you wanted to go to Universal Studios and I wanted to go Disneyland and you said Disneyland was effing lame, then I'd be pretty PO'd and not want to Universal Studios with you. However, if we discussed it and said that both have walk-around characters, both have rides, both have differently themed areas, and continued drawing comparisons and things that could be agreed upon, then I could very well accept going to Universal Studios. That's probably not a very good example of what I mean but it was the best I could come up with. Just don't be really confrontational about it because irritation gets nobody nowhere. Hope this helped some how

Answer 3

What would you consider "winning" the argument? If it means the other person comes to completely agree with you on every aspect of this topic, it's not going to happen.



Maybe you should focus on the issues you feel have the greatest effect on people's actual civil rights, and use examples he can agree with. For instance, the person you're arguing with probably disapproves of adultery, but would not want to see adulterers arrested, prevented from holding a job, or treated as second class citizens. Get him to acknowledge the difference between personal morality and public rights and privileges - between disapproving of a particular act or lifestyle, and trying to limit the options of people who practice them.



On matters that don't directly affect civil rights, allow him his own opinion.

Answer 4

Just let dogs bark, but keep them on a leash.

Answer 5

God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.