MY roommate has her prioroties screwed up, help?

Question

She complains about money being tight and not being able to get internet and cable turned on in time for school. Yesterday she bought a $250 bicycle that I know will only get used for maybe a month. She's like that, she makes and impulse buy and then gets bored with it sonn after. She is pissing me off because I will not pay for things that she uses. The jack for the cable and dsl is in my room and I am seriously contemplating getting it turned on and not telling her. What do I do?

Answer 1

I am so glad you care. It is so beautiful that human beings like you exist. You care enough to write about it and ask for help. That speaks highly of you.



Now, think about it. You can't do much except to tell her what she is doing is not right. Such habits are formed well ahead of starting one's life. She is going down the path of disaster.

She is the type who will run up credit card balance and get caught up in a credit squeeze and sink. I have seen people do that, it is pathetic.



You can have a heart to heart. After that, it's upto her. After all she is an adult right? You cannot control that. But, you can definitely show her the way because you care. You are her friend. Does it affect you personally, in your finance? If not have a gentle conversation. If yes, you need to be firm and control your finances and do everything separate.



Just look after yourself. If you have even recognized these, I think you have your head screwed on right.

Answer 2

Your roomate will find out eventually if you get cable and internet in your room w/o telling her. If you do that, things between you two could get ugly. I would try to compromise with her about getting cable or internet. Maybe you guys could decide on getting one or the other so the monthly bill won't be as high. If you guys deceide on getting cable, see how bills go for a couple of months or so. If it's just way too much for you two, then cancel it. If bills are ok, maybe then look into getting internet, as well. About her spending habits, it might anger you b/c she contradicts herself but really it's her money and she can do what she wants with it even if she spends it on something that will not get much use. But is she bitches about money being tight then tell her straight up that she has no reason to complain if she blows her money on things she doesn't need.

Answer 3

You're not being bitchy, you're just protecting yourself with good business sense. Unfortunately, you cannot change or run other people's lives. Her bad decisions are hers to make and the best you can do is to lead by example and hope she catches on and learns a few things. When it comes the time that she is unable to pay her rent or other bills though, then it is time to let her go because you need someone more responsible in your life and in your home and she is not pulling her weight. It would be regretable if you lost her as a friend over it, but you have your own life to run and you're not her mother or caregiver.

Answer 4

Be honest...In a nice way. Tell her that she could have the cable and dsl and many other things she wants if she realizes what she is wasting her money on. Tell her you would be willing to help her get her priorities straight if she wants, and work with her for a little bit. I have a friend like that and i am very honest with her and she still spends money like it is water...If she doesn't want the help or doesn't change her ways...You may be forced to find another roommate. If you don't you could end up ruining your friendship over this.

Answer 5

Well....if you like her, other than her little spending problem, then talk to her....just tell her what you think but be nice about it. If you want to get that stuff in your room then do it....you problem is not hers....if you can afford it go for it, and just let her know that you have the things you do because you make priorties. You should not have to not do things because of her....



on the other hand, if you don't like her personally either, then just find a new roommate. Again you should not have to live your life the way she does...do what you want.

Answer 6

Oh, I think you're fending for yourself. You shouldn't have to be her mother, she's your roomate, for goodness sake. Not your kid. If she wants to waste her money like that, she deserves to be constantly broke. DO NOT under any circumstances, LEND HER ANY MONEY! I'm sure you already know that, though.



Let her go to the public library to get on the 'net. And yes, you should get cable and DSL....but also be prepared to get a lock put on your door. She won't believe it when she finds out, she'll just think you "forgot to tell her" and she'll stroll in there wanting to use it, especially when you aren't home. No free rides, and the sooner she learns this the best.



You don't have to be mean about it, when she asks, just point out that you are as financially strapped as she is, and you can't afford to carry her, as well as hersefl. When she starts giving you money towards the internet on a REGULAR basis, she is welcome to use it.

Answer 7

Better lock your room if you decide to keep the services on. I had a roommate like that. He came into a lump sum of money and didn't give a red cent. I didn't lay down the parameters before moving in; which he moved in by default because of weird circumstances, and this fool just ran over me. It took hell and high water to get him out because the house isn't in my name and I didn't want to get my 80+ year young grandmother involved. He spent money on stooo-pid stuff yet wanted to party all the time.



One of his friends shared with me that he invited them to the movies and one of them had to pay his admission. Yep, went through about $2500 in about a month.



Lay the rules down of this person will take advantage of you. When you've got your portion of the agreed price for rent, or whatever don't try to teach this person lessons they should have learned from their parents/guardians. It is not your responsibility. But get yours first. If not, get them off the lease, or evict within legal limits.

Answer 8

Tell her if she doesn't help pay for the internet connection, then she may not use it. Point out to her that she buys things she doesn't need, like the bicycle. If you find that she doesn't use it often, suggest she sell it and use the money for things she needs.



Your roommate may not be used to having to worry about managing her finances. Maybe you could help her out by giving her some tips? If you're always attacking her (e.g.: "You're always buying things you don't need when you could be using the money on necesseties!"), she probably will not listen to any of your good advice, however well-intentioned you may be. Instead, suggest that she set aside some money each month to help pay for stationary, internet connection, etc.

If she doesn't shape up, then just remember that, ultimately, her money problems are just that - HERS. Don't worry yourself about it.

Answer 9

you should get it turned on in your room, just because she doesnt know how to manage her money doesnt mean you have to suffer. if she can accept helpful hints, maybe tell her to take that bike back and buy a used one for around 40.00 then she will have enough to do the things she needs before school starts...in the future when she complains tell her it might be smart to right up a budget

Answer 10

She'll only learn by you meaning what you say and not paying for what she uses. Never lend her money and make sure she pays her share of everything. She may think you're being mean, but it will help her realise the value of money.

get the cable turned on and charge her for using it.

Answer 11

If your roommate consistently fails to live up to her financial obligations in this household, then either you need to find a new roommate or you need to find somewhere else to live. You are far past simply thinking about turning on the jack in your room. You need to have a serious sitdown discussion with her and ask her whether she wants to remain a roommate or not

Answer 12

1. have you tried talking to her about it?

2. make sure you get a lock and she can't access anything.

3. when she complains tell her you don't want to hear it. tell it to her $250 bike.

4. she has serious issues, honey. she doesn't like who she is so she buys things to make her feel better about herself and forgets about it or gets bored with it. that's how she feels about HER. how sad is that?

5. try to get her to see she needs help. soon she won't be able to afford her credit cards. banks won't loan her money. she won't be able to find a good job. employers look at your financials before hiring you. they don't want a dead-beat working for them.



i know this because it has happened to me. i was hired on a 30 day 'thing' as a hair assistant (what a petty job) and was 'let go'. not because i didn't do my job well, because i did. the owner told me the ONLY reason was because of my financials. i tried to explain that i couldn't get any other job and i was in the process of trying to fix my credit. she said sorry to me and that was that.

Answer 13

She'll figure out that its on the first time she sees you using it.



You can do that but demand that she pay her share the first

time she uses it.



Will you hold firm when push comes to shove?



People learn how to control their finances differently, both at

different times and by doing different things. College is usually

a pretty big "learning experience" for people - and this is one

of the things that they be learning.

Answer 14

You can turn it on and tell her. Just make sure she knows the rule is she can have access to it when she pays for half. If she doesn't pay then keep a lock on your door. Her payment is to be expected prior to any use.

Answer 15

She has been, and will always be this way.

I know many people like this. Ticks me off.

They always seem to marry a man who trusts

them to pay the house hold bills. Yeah right,

they just go on making new ones.

I HATED SHARING ROOMS IN SCHOOL.

I would hook DSL up for my use, and act like it's

not there..

Answer 16

As long as she pays her share of the house hold bills whatever extra you pay for keep it in your room and lock the door when you're not there so she can't freeload off of your stuff.



Or just kick her butt out and find somebody responsible.

Answer 17

Sounds like you need to talk to her. Let her know that you aren't paying for the net and other expenses. I don't blame you. She needs to set her priorities straight. Pay your own way and if she can't keep up then time for a new roomie.

Answer 18

I would get another roommate if possible, because you know if you get cable, she will use your machine. Either move out or give her an ultimatum regarding an apartment budget, etc.

Answer 19

Roommates suck, that's just how it is. You won't agree, your priorities will be different, one of you will be messier than the other. That's just how it is. When you can afford to live alone, you should move out. You are not going to change anybody.

Answer 20

i think you should tell her how your feeling then if she still insists on impulse buying then id get the internet and cable turned on for your self and not tell her

Answer 21

Get a new roommate! Or live alone so you won't have to put up with other people!

Answer 22

Set her straight. You're probably going to be stuck with her for a while, and you don't need the added stress.

Answer 23

Turn it on for yourself, if she finds out just tell her what it will cost her to have it to. If she dosen't pay, disconnect her. Simple enough.

Answer 24

Maybe get a new room mate? or you move out?

Answer 25

tell her straight to her face. if you dont then it will bottle up inside you and one day you will just explode. get it out now before things get worse

Answer 26

kick her tooshie out...or teller to chill.....stuff her in the freezer...or tell her TO EACH PAY THE BILLS MONTHLY...you the first month...she the second....you the third month...get it??

Answer 27

you should send her an email saying this very same thing. tell her exactly what's bothering you!

Answer 28

get a new room mate

Answer 29

kick her to the curb and if you are hot you can let me move in

Answer 30

turn it on and don't tell her, or tell her to grow up and quit being stupid

Answer 31

why do you care?! It's her life not yours! Worry about yourself and leave other people alone

Answer 32

If she has problem, let her ask for solution.

Answer 33

tell her to answer your question you have posted

Answer 34

Use her bike

Answer 35

change room or roommate...

Answer 36

that sucks