I hope you are not talking about me, is he really male and 22??? Because it appears you are my manager! Oh well, even if you are, its good for you to know, so i will share it anyways.
[If that is about me- i would be curious to know how you would know I'm on here...]
I have been doing that, so i have been told recently. I had no idea i do that, because the feedback i have been getting was always positive, and i never understood there were problems like that! yes, i was told i could improve, but i did not see it to be a problem....i thought "i'm good, but i could improve (who couldn't?), OK, sounds like everything is good..."
You may think "Why i didn’t strive to be "THE BEST"?"-
If i was striving for that, i would have planned my life differently. No of course i strive to be the best [as much as i don’t like to admit], but there are different parts to life, and family also... I try hard at home to take care of family.
I want to do good at work, and yes of course i would want to be the best, but i have to do both, which is fine...
Now on "waits for others to do his work for him.":
The culture in which I was brought up (and I’m not using it as excuse, but to give background) does not appreciate initiative.
Initiative is considered to be "pride", and is considered VERY BAD. Yep - opposite of what it is in your culture. The initiative taker will be the worst person...
Why is it that way- i cannot think of reason right now, but this gets very deeply into your behavior. It could have been intentional, they raised us this way so that we can be easily controlled. According to what I knew, the "worst sin" in the Bible was “Pride”!
No i don’t wait for others to do my work, that’s not my thinking AT ALL. These people end up doing my work, because of their culture- the "initiative". And i dont like this, and never did, but I thought I was being a "team player" by "coworking" with them!
By the way, it is not intuitive to me, why they would first offer to help me, and then think it was my work.
I don’t understand why someone would do it in such way... different culture i guess. If they don’t think it is their responsibility- why did they not tell me that? I was under the impression it is "team work". I'm honest. I am not lazy. I do not want others to do my work. But i didn’t feel it was polite of me to be more aggressive.
In my culture people are very straightforward, so we may not understand any hints, we don’t see any reason why a person would not want to say directly what they think. I think in American "working culture" people are very indirect... You know more than me about this!
Also in my culture younger people always yield to older people- that’s considered basic politeness.
I am trying to change this now that I know about this!!
I still feel guilt when trying to be more aggressive, and I will make it a point to ignore this feeling.
So, the reason why I acted that way, is that I was just trying to be a "good"(to my best knowledge), and I felt it would be impolite to be "the aggressor". It would have been BAD, impolite, etc. of me- to fight with them over this work. Lazy? I don’t think anyone is that lazy, that they come to work hoping to not have to do anything. In fact I always feel bad when someone ends up doing what I wanted to do. But I used to give in, because I felt it would have been the politest thing to do.
This is not an excuse- but an explanation…
It was a very BIG shock to me to find out I was “waiting on others to do my work for me”. I wish i would have known about this earlier!!!
If i knew about this problem, i would have worked on it earlier. Now that i know about this, i will be doing my best.
I am not lazy. There was some term like"no engagement." This is the case. I really want to be "engaged"! And I really want to be doing useful work!
It will be hard to do it NOW, because of the shock and depression, and some times I may even be depressed for a few hours here and there!- I need to control my emotions, but sometimes i feel BAD depression attacks, and i will make it a point to compensate for this by working extra hours!!!!!!
I will do good work.
You can be sure of that.
I will hurry up and send this now, before you close the question....
Thanks for asking!!!!
I hope i was able to give some insight...