From what I've read in your question, why do you care about what people think of you so much? I mean, the stereotypers have you believing braiding hair, dancing, using slang, watching BET, and eating fried chicken are bad things. I want you to answer, what's the problem with those preferences?
I'm Black, and my family and I probably don't believe in braiding hair because it can cause damage, but in my perspective, I see nothing wrong with because it's a simple hair style it's obviously taken from African culture. Society's view may be negative on braids, but people should realize, it's a simple hairstyle and it doesn't define the person. Also, if you noticed, people other races or class speak with slang terminology, even Whites. Therefore, it isn't bad unless it literally harms someone. I mean, really, who cares about the way people speak? It means nothing.
As for BET, there's nothing wrong with that. I love BET, and I know for sure it doesn't represent Blacks, but rather the inner city. I don't have a problem with that because I'm an avid visitor of the inner city and it doesn't make me less of a person. People living in poorer areas are still human beings as well, and I say, let them have a lifestyle and sub-culture too. It shouldn't be despised.
As for dancing and eating fried chicken, you know for sure people do that. Taking a wild guess, I'll assume you're referring to similar dancing as in Hip-Hop music videos. Well, remember, if someone said that was a Black stereotype, they're unaware people of other races that do the same thing. If you looked at Reggaeton videos, Hispanic girls do the same thing, and White in Pop music. In my opinion, it's nor degrading or slutty, but instead, good fun because it harms no one and maturated woman are intelligent enough to make their own decisions.
Anyways, to answer your question, well, people have different personalities. Common sense fundamentally explains you can't expect everyone to behave in your preferred manner, for people have independent minds, thus, disallowing you to control them. (For instance, a person you consider 'mean' and 'hateful' could consider you hateful for going against their beliefs.) They can however, be influenced through a powerful voice, but it would take a while to take effect because, for contemporary to acquire it's state, it took years overcome the hardships pertaining, such as the Civil Rights Movement and the many wars throughout history, such as the American Civil.
To sum it up, people, because of their independent minds, behave differently, thus attributing what people would call 'mean,' 'nice,' and so forth qualities, because people have naturally different beliefs, which are all opinionated. Therefore, I say it's better to accept that and get used to it because when things are different and people have the right of free speech, people are guaranteed to agree and disagree, not matter the subject. See, we're Black and take a look at our history. Long ago, the government was in favor of keeping us separate, but after that was over, people disagreed with the outcome, and therefore, became racist. That, I have no problem with unless violence isn't involved.
That explains Obama. People don't have to dislike him simply because he's Black, but rather for other reasons such as his beliefs. Either way, it wouldn't bother me because they're personal opinions, which everyone has. I only hope violence isn't used with that particular hate. As for January 20th, I too can't wait. It would be a great of history to have actually been alive to experience rather than read in a history book. By the way, just because the country is going through a recession doesn't mean it's failing. Honestly, it HAS succeeded because free speech has been widely practiced and we, despite going through a recession, still have the highest GDP in all macroeconomics.