I'm on the brink of a divorce. I spent easter with my 4 daughters, while my wife travelled with her new man

Question

My wife is unrelenting that our marriage is over and that she has "moved on". At easter church service the priest asked us to pray for someone we hate. I prayed for my wife. Suddenly i'm missing her so badly. I'm unable to sleep. I've just sent her a text message simply saying "I'm hurting", which is unreplied. I'm mising her sorely right now, even though the last 3 years of our 10 year marriage was hell. I did not know i could still feel this way. Whats going on with me? What should i do?

Answer 1

It's sounding to me like she's a really selfish woman. To go out with a new man when she is married and has four children is shameful and irresponsible to say the least. However, when something like this happens I think it is best for you to move on yourself. I'm the last one to advise divorce, but unless she comes to her senses, it's looking like that will be the best thing to do in a situation like this.

Answer 2

The first common step we face sadness with is "Unbelieving". That's normal but it seems that you have to accept it as a fact. Since it's already over, you need to be confident of the option you both made. Don't look back.

A fast support could be to lock yourself in a room and talk all what's inside you. Say it.. Cry if it makes you feel better. Imagine you're talking to someone and complain to him.. A friend once told me: remember that the distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your head and the ground. The one who kneels to God can stand up to anything. Use your faith even if you don't think you've got any. If someone asked you for some help that he badly needs, would you respond to him? What if the one you're asking is God? Do you think he's gona let you down?

Answer 3

You have my sympathies Buddy.

First of all, recognize that you are going to be your own worst enemy for awhile, in terms of being ruled by anxiety, depression, or just general confusion... whatever you want to call that negative energy. Don't let negative behaviors be manifested by that negative energy.

The negative energy will distract you from what needs to be done. The priority needs to be your daughters. Stay out of the pity party and focus on helping them sort this out. You don't say how old they are, but different ages will manifest different problems. The young ones will get clingy to the custodial parent. The older ones might rebel.

Just give yourself time to get through this. It's going to hurt. You're just going to have to gut it out; what will help you is not focusing on yourself, but focusing on helping your daughters make sense of it all. They need you.

Don't get mixed up with another girl right away. Get your pals together once a month or so and go to a ballgame. Have some laughs.

Answer 4

Your message is "unreplied" because Mr. New Boyfriend is likely balls deep in her about now. Move on no matter how difficult it may seem. She chose to spend Easter with that nimrod instead of her kids, so that should tell you something of her character (as if whoring around with another man wasn't enough). You should pack up the kids and split while she's gone.

Answer 5

:< -hug-



I can't believe your wife cheated on you, and you're still not divorced! I'm so sorry that you feel lonely and youre hurting, but that's one more step to moving on. Just cry if you need to and let out all your frustrations. You seem like a sweet person, and it's not your fault that your "wife" can't see that. It's apparent that she has gone on, so you should do the same. As the saying goes, theres always more fish in the sea..



However, be careful to make sure that your actions do not hurt your kids!! youre a FATHER. Remember that. No matter what, your girls should come first. :)



Good luck and good wishes!

Answer 6

It's a classic case of wanting what you can't have, combined with mourning your lost relationship. If your wife has expressed no interest in reconciling, it's definitely and permanently over, especially since she has a new significant other. You could probably use some counseling to help you get past this, and it wouldn't hurt for you to start dating, or at least looking at the online singles sites.

Answer 7

You two should sit somewhere quiet and talk about your marriage. If she really doesn't want to be with you anymore, then you should let her go, but you both should think first of the children before yourselves. If she wants to be with the other guy, then you don't have any choice but to move on. Just be happy that you two created 4 beautiful daughters.

Answer 8

my parents were married for 22 years...I am now 21 and NOW my mother decides she wants to meet some crazy woman online and make us abandon the house and move with her and the woman to Troy, NY where the woman is from while my father is out of the house, and to make matters worde I can't drive and it is IMPOSSIBLE to find a job here in PG County, MD so I pretty much had no say in the matter. I feel like I am an adult, yet am forced to have the restrictions of a child but still be expected to assume adult responsibilites...all because I have not been given what I need to attain my adult status

Answer 9

Wake up. You can pray until you're blue in the face and nothing will change. If your wife should decide to change her mind it would only be temporary. You have to be strong. Kneeling at her feet sends the wrong message.

Answer 10

i think you should move on and make hay with your girls. let her loose out and show them her true colors. did you do something bad to her or she just going thru a crisis? if she is just being mean, let her go. you take care of those girls no matter what!!!! you be the light for them and show them what is right and wrong. dont let them miss out on a thing. you get yourself together and be strong for them. it sounds like they dont have much of a mom if she would go off with her bf and forget about her girls on EASTER, no way. good luck buddy

Answer 11

wow..she is cheating on you and you guys are nto even divorced???

That sucks man

Answer 12

i think its too late since she has made her position clear