Question:
How does one safely remove an angered barn owl form a cupboard?
Sir B' Bobble Bottom VI
2009-03-10 10:15:15 UTC
I found the owl in my kitchen cupboard. I do not wish to enrage the bird, but I would like access to my custard tarts.

Should I throttle the owl?
Fourteen answers:
2009-03-10 11:35:03 UTC
Barn Owls are completely non aggressive when cornered. I promise you, the most it will do, is lie on its back, and if you pick it up, it will not even try to peck or scratch you. Do not use a net, they look a lot more robust than they actually are. If you open the door, and the Owl does not fly out, it is probably weak from hunger. (They need to eat every day) If it is too weak to fly, do not try to feed it meat, wrap it gently in a soft towel, lie it on its back, and try to drop a solution of glucose into its beak. This will give it the strength to eat some strips of liver,or chicken breast. You should ring the RSPB, and find out what it's Adult body weight should be, and then weigh it, (it won't be a juvenile Bird at this time of year. If it is more than 1 fifth under its normal body weight , you might have to sit up all night feeding it glucose, just to get it to survive. They are surprisingly delicate Birds, and weigh only about as much as a pigeon, and are very susceptible to

poisons, and in the wild, feed almost exclusively on Voles. If it doesn't fly away, straight away, try and get in touch with someone who keeps Owls, as it will need re-habilitation if it is to survive. It will not readily take to any new diet, as it is used to freshly killed voles.It will need to be successfully fed day old dead chicks for a few days, (unless you have any live voles) and this is why they are so vulnerable, and need the glucose.

Its claws and beak look formidable, but it will not attack or fight you at all. (It knows it can't do anything bigger than a baby rabbit) and it will go limp.

If it doesn't fly away, and you don't get any of this special treatment to it, it will be dead by tomorrow night.
rookgaroo
2009-03-10 13:18:46 UTC
Sadly, throttling barn owls, like so many of life's pleasurable pastimes, is now under fire for "ethical" reasons. Having some experience with owl-infested cupboards myself, perhaps I can be of some small service by offering a solution that not only solves the immediate problem, but is a jolly bit of fun in it's own right.

I had a servant strip and coat himself with suet. Then I compelled him to roll around in a pile of raw seed of the type that wretched fowl are so fond. Once he was sufficiently coated, I had him fling open the cupboard doors and dance seductively for my unwelcome guest. The sight of him reeling across the floor, screaming, with the owl's talons anchored firmly between his shoulder blades had such an effect on me that I could barely chew my freshly liberated apricot fritter. I highly recommend this method of ridding oneself of unwanted winged beggars in the kitchen.



I remain,



Bibbins
Leftfoot
2009-03-10 14:48:37 UTC
Have a caution, Sir B'!

The famed wisdom of owls is no wives tale. These wily birds have been known to feign unconsciousness after a couple of minutes of being throttled - only to rally again when least expected and peck the hapless throttler to within an inch of his own life!

I suggest a compromise. Share your delicious confectionery items with the fuming creature and, in so doing, soothe its' rage and encourage it to be your friend.

Once you get to know them, owls can be a real hoot!
MiZz RuBy
2009-03-10 10:18:58 UTC
Sir! where have u been hiding?! I've not seen any of your questions! how is the Mrs?



i think you should throttle it with the custard tarts!
Cheese Fairy - Mummified
2009-03-10 10:19:48 UTC
Do you have any mice about? Catch one in a live trap, offer it to the owl. While it is eating, use a blanket to wrap around it and take it outside in your arms and let it free.
2009-03-10 11:07:10 UTC
Get the manservant to coax him with a mouse from the his very own cupboard... ahem! quarters.



Ooooh! Bibbins *snorts 'n' sniggers*
2009-03-10 10:18:13 UTC
Use a net--do you have one for dipping tadpoles? Otherwise, you'll probably be OK throwing a towel over it.
stfu
2009-03-10 10:20:02 UTC
with difficulty.

and.. how in gods name.. did an.. owl.. get into your.. cupboard? it doesnt even make sense...
2009-03-10 10:19:49 UTC
Mmmmm....custard tarts....
Poor Gary
2009-03-10 10:21:58 UTC
call your local animal control office and they will take care of it.
2009-03-10 10:21:16 UTC
call the rspb
Pap
2009-03-10 10:19:19 UTC
Shoot it. That's what my granda would do and you sound like his kind of man
Phoenix
2009-03-10 10:18:37 UTC
put him in your top hat
Sam
2009-03-10 10:18:25 UTC
Shoot it


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