Im one of Gods cruel sick jokes?

Question

(If you read the whole thing say Squirrel in my Pants) Im feeling kinda low, i having a relapse of emotions i guess you could say. My bestest guy friend im hopelessly head over heels for, has a girlfriend and im happy for him i really am but it was kinda like stab in the shoulder. Then another guy friend asked me out and i said yes, but in 72 hours he denied it and went with my best friend. That was like gun shot to the face, i feel so stupid for even believing anyone could like me. I feel so pathetic, i occasionally lie to make my life seem better, i at times find things to cry about to feel sorry for myself, i at times want to do things just to get attention. But im black so cutting or nothing wont matter theyll just laugh and scoff at me even more. I think im racist against my own race. If i were white maybe id be prettier and people would WANT to love me. A better body and not a walking talking skeleton no matter how much i eat. I went to a mental institute a few years back, and people say im schitzophrenic, and phsycotic so that doesnt help any either. I feel inferior everywhere i turn someones better than me, someone that doesnt stutter or crooked teeth or big feet or a better instrument than me or grades and friends, i know its bad to look through windows but its hard when you see it everyday in the halls, laughing and holding hands with their boyfriends mocking you with their scholarships and future plans. My future plans keep changing and before i know it id be graduating. I just need to get these things straightend out, people keep putting me down, all the jobs i want cant pay the bills or people doubt me and i give up. Any goals i have i either for get or give up. Face it im a failure, im just a black ***** failure.

Answer 1

God doesn't play cruel and sick jokes, he makes every person with their disorders, syndromes, and diseases for a reason. He puts everyone in the situation they are in for a reason. As for the guys, they can be real jerks. Just wanting to mess with a girls emotions because it's an easy thing to do. But trust me, there will be a guy out there for you who will love you for you. He won't be looking at your flaws, he will be looking at you. Sure, there are definitely people better you in one way or another but not completely better than you, have some confidence in yourself!! You can't just be going from day to day feeling sorry for yourself. I can guarantee you that there's people far worse off than you.



If all you have is a stutter than you should count yourself lucky. How about the people who can't even control what comes out of their mouth? Or how about the people who cannot even talk at all? I can guarantee you that they would take a stutter over being mute. How bad are your crooked teeth? I bet it's 10 times better than no teeth. As far as the instrument goes, I can imagine they really practiced it day in and day out. How much have you really practiced playing one? Better grades.. we're in the same boat here. I can't focus on a subject that I'm not interested in to save my life.. This year in college, I had to take an English 112 class which is basically literature. I absolutely hate to read I think it is absolute torture. Learning about all the literature devices.. ugh that was boring.. Some people are born geniuses and don't have to study much and will get good grades. Some are hard workers and will get good grades. Some are slackers and don't care. Others try their best but that still isn't good enough. You're not alone.



Stop hanging around all of the people that are putting you down. You don't need them, look where it has put you now. You've put your life on an internet sight for people to help you. I would suggest you talk to your mother and father and see how to over come what is happening. Also, I would like to suggest that you go and find something you love to do. If you like to cook, go join a cooking club. If you like sports, go join a sports club. I'm sure that you'll find some real friends there and it will make you feel better about life.



If you want to talk about anything, you can email me if you'd like - [e-mail] sorry yahoo but this is the email that I check most..

Answer 2

youre supposed to put the part about the squirrel in the pants near the end of your paragraph, not the first sentence! god you cant even get that right!



so youre a failure, and crazy, and skinny. so? everyone is in many many ways beneath someone else, only if they care enough about that, that is. who cares? find some equally messed up friends and boyfriend, they are out there. trying to be "normal" will get you no where good, its a rat race and so typical..branch out, please yourself.

Answer 3

no you are not..your mental state keeps you from moving forward and why focus in having a boyfriend go for a true friend..it is the gift, seek authentic relationships..formed new hobbies and you will find same people who will like you for what you are..think low and people will treat you low and its happening cant you see..so walk up high..you have a place here change your mindset princess.

Answer 4

i understand you do no longer choose to communicate on your loved ones approximately it, yet that's in all threat the appropriate answer. rather communicate along with your sister, this could assist you lots, you should tell them the type you experience and how it issues you. yet another element you should do is bypass and notice a decrease. they do no longer seem to be basically for loopy human beings, they are in a position that may assist you lots, and supply you guidelines on the thank you to recover from or a minimum of settle for the activities that have taken place on your existence. they are in a position to additionally perscribe drugs that may assist you out with melancholy and such. stable success, and understand that its no longer your fault.